Storylines That Should Happen in Arrested Development Season 5

Arrested Development, the beloved and ahead of its time Fox sitcom that was canceled in 2006, tweeted out two pieces of exciting news last week. First, the fourth season has been recut and remixed so that it followed a more traditional episode format .* The second was that season 5 was coming soon. In the words of Mitch Hurwitz, the creator, the new season is coming soon, "like, real soon. Like, if you knew when you would not be wrong to be thinking 'Why are we just hearing about this now?'" It's coming May 29th, to be specific. I have 6 storylines I hope they do.

 

Tobias is cast in a Blue Man Group Movie.

I know, everyone is shocked. And they think he is delusional and not on a real set. As we know, Tobias is an awful actor and an even worse blue man. When he hears about the movie, he starts to scheme on how he can get onto the set. With the help of his cat-like agility, he manages to get there right when one of the blue men backs out. Having already blue himself, Tobias is ready to step in without hesitation. His face is featured prominently on the promotional material for Blew Man Group, the gay porno he unknowingly starred in. Madness ensues.

 

Buster Joins a Study Group.

With Lucille in rehab, Buster found not guilty of killing Lucille 2, he decides to do the only thing he knows how; go back to college. In desperate need of a group to take care of him, he joins a freshman study group that covers geriatric nursing. Called "Mother Care," Buster thinks it is an adult daycare where he can be mothered. The kids realize that Buster will do anything they tell him. So they get him hooked on vaping and teach him youth lingo. Lit, dab, savage, snack, the works. But the "squad" doesn't tell him the real definition of the words and gives him the word context for them. Think Daryl telling Michael street slang. Madness ensues.

 

Lindsay is an aspiring Instagram model but George Michael goes viral.

Alway on the lookout for a way to make easy money and as vain as ever, Lindsay spends all her time on her Instagram. She heard that Kylie Jenner gets $1 million per #sponsored post. It seems pretty easy to her. She thinks she can facetune like a pro but the lines in the background are always wavey.  Frustrated by how she wasn't gaining an audience, she bought 500 thousand followers. George Michael, an expert on muscle suits, starts an Instagram account where he rates them on a 10 point scale. He judges based on how realistic the suit is, how easy it is to move around in, and how attractive Maeby would find his body. It quickly goes viral because people think it is a brilliant parody account. Lindsay becomes incredibly jealous and vows to take down his account by any means necessary. Madness ensues.

 

George Sr. is in a support group with Trump.

Looking for a safe space to discuss his light treason against the United States, tax evasion. and the ways he manipulated the real estate business, George Sr. joins a support group.** They meet on a boat that is docked about 2 miles offshore because of maritime law, which he still believes protects him.  Trump is there for essentially the same reasons.*** They bond over the crimes they've committed and the need for a wall between the US and Mexico. Most of their screen time is spent trying to one-up each other with the ways they have evaded any real punishment. They are very open about their crimes. The whole thing is a sting set up by the FBI to catch rich, dumb criminals by getting them to confess on a bugged boat. Madness ensues.

 

Michael Runs a Chain of Banana Carts.

Left with nowhere else to go and inspired by the free bananas on Amazon's campus, Michael returns to his banana stand days. He sets up carts all over the area that give bananas out in exchange for whatever people have in their pocket to give. This way, he feels like it will be fate if he makes a profit because he is doing a kind, generous act. He usually ends each day with some lint, gum wrappers, pennies, and a sense of pride that he helped the people of Southern California live a healthy life. This feeling is priceless to Michael and he brags about it constantly.  However, a group of mobsters who own grocery stores are unhappy with how he is messing with the banana market. No one wants to buy their bananas because they can just get them for free. They decide to send him a message. Madness ensues.

 

GOB is a Reaction gif.

After being interviewed on the news where GOB said his famous "Come On!" catchphrase, he becomes an overnight sensation in the reaction gif world. He is invited to have a semi-permanent segment on the news. It's called "Co-Ca-Co-Ca" and it lasts :45-:65 seconds. Just enough time for him to say a word or phrase that can be gif'd then used by the masses. His gif are everywhere. The studio decides to bring on the most seasoned producer they know can kick the segment up a notch so they could win an Opie award. When Maeby shows up on set, there are a few changes she demands. GOB, never one to take orders becomes unpredictable while live on tv. Madness ensues.

 

I am so excited for season 5. We've been too long without Arrested Development in our lives. I've been watching the season 4 remix and it really adds a whole new light to those storylines. What do you think will happen in season 5?

 

In: Netflix binges, iconic catchphrases, stair cars.

Out: Canceling shows, giving uncomfortable shoulder rubs, putting your family back together.


 

*If you don't remember, it was originally 15 episodes with each episode having a central Bluth character we followed through their misfortune. They did it like this because some of the cast couldn't be there all the time for filming since they had other commitments. The season has very mixed reviews and it takes awhile for jokes to pay off and even then it's not very satisfying.  

 

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***Played by Alec Baldwin of course